So you’re pregnant for the first time, just had your first baby, it could even be your tenth kid and someone out there is going to say one of these things to you. They just can’t help it. These ridiculous things roll off people’s tongues like vomit. Sure, they might mean well…sometimes…but if they ever stopped to think about what they were actually saying they would realize it’s just ridiculous. Even women who know better will still offer up some useless help or advice. If I left something off that you think would fit this list, leave it in the comments!
1.) “Breast is best!”….DUH…You have to be living under a rock to not have heard this catchy little phrase. We all know that breastmilk is the best food for your baby. Not every woman breastfeeds. Some women can’t for medical reasons, their baby won’t latch, baby has health problems, etc. Some women pump and feed their baby expressed breastmilk. Some women choose formula. You know what, all of these ways create a fed healthy baby and fed is best!
2.) “Sleep when the baby sleeps!”….HAHA….Do you like to eat? Shower? Maybe you like clean clothes or a remotely livable house? Well then you will not be sleeping when the baby sleeps. When the baby sleeps you will be doing all the things mentioned above that you can cram in to that short time period.
3.) “A c-section should be your last resort” As a twin mom this one really irks me because when 2 babies are involved all the planets must be aligned for a natural vaginal delivery to be possible. A lot of women deliver twins vaginally, but there are also a lot of women who attempt a vaginal twin delivery only to have to have an emergency c-section. Or in my mind, even worse, deliver the first twin vaginally and then have to have an emergency c-section for the second twin. Talk about getting screwed both ways. Regardless of your opinion, never tell a woman how she should or should not bring life into this world. It’s none of your business.
4.) “Let me know if you need anything!” You know what I need? Food and a clean house. But I’m not going to ask you for anything. I’m going to smile and politely say “okay, thanks!” What’s even worse is those people that come to your house to “help” but all they do is hold the baby while you do your laundry, dishes, or clean the house. I think I read somewhere that in China after a woman gives birth she does nothing but stay in bed with the baby for like 40 days while everyone in her village takes care of her husband, other children, and house. How amazing! You know why they do this? Because pregnancy & giving birth are hard! It doesn’t matter if you had a completely normal uneventful pregnancy and delivery, it is still tough on your body. You need time to recuperate and your body needs to heal.
5.) “Enjoy this time, it goes by fast!” It does, it really really does. Time is a thief. The days are long and the years are short. I’ve got 4 kids and I fully grasp this concept, but I don’t need Karen next door telling my exhausted sleep-deprived barely functioning new mom self that I can’t express my exhaustion because I should be enjoying these moments. I am Karen, but I’m still tired.